


Moving On

by Daydreamer



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Reality, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Romance, future canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-30
Updated: 2012-11-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 21:25:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/577823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydreamer/pseuds/Daydreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Uryuu Ishida has finally crashed under the weight of his son’s death and divorce from his wife. It is a chance encounter with an old friend that brings him back to life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moving On

**Author's Note:**

> This was written a while ago for a contest in which it came in second place, first place being taken by some artwork. It was written in the future canonverse but the times were altered to make current day the future of the current time in the manga/anime. It was also written prior to certain events. So, read it however you like. I hope you enjoy. This is the first bleach I've posted on this site since I started writing way back a long time ago. I also wrote this as if Karakura Town was in the US. It's just easier for me. Enjoy.

Years.

They pass by so quickly. In an instant the world and all its glories revolve around you only to have the cruel reality of growing up dispel all the mystical wonder. Where did the past go? Only the blinking of an eye revealed the passing of years and all the hurt that followed them.

Uryuu Ishida slid his wire framed glassed from his face and rubbed at the bridge of his nose as he stared at the divorce papers spread out before him. Everything was in order. All he had to do was sign his acquiescence. Somehow, even knowing this was coming, he found it difficult. It was like he was letting go of all that had happened as he released her.

In the end, his wife of fifteen years had finally had enough. Not like they’d spoken much to each other in the past year. After the death of their son, their relationship had withered and rotted as their son’s body did in the ground. Yet still…letting go was proving much more difficult than he’d assumed it would.

“Mira…”

“Just sign the papers, Uryuu,” interjected Mira with a small smile.

Uryuu sighed, his hand steady as he penned his name on the designated lines. He hadn’t wanted things to end this way. Once upon a time he had really loved her, but now…not since Toru’s death. He couldn’t. There was no love left in him–just an empty husk.

“I’m sorry, Uryuu. I know…we tried to make it work but I just can’t. Every time I look at you I see him. It hurts too much.”

“Mira…are you sure this is what you want?” he asked quietly, his hand extending to offer the signed papers.

She ducked her head, blond locks falling from the chignon to frame her pixie-like face. “It’s the only way. I’ve met someone…in my counseling group. He lost his daughter a few months ago. We’ve…been seeing each other.”

“Do you love him?”

She closed her eyes as if the words to fall from her lips were poison. “Yes.”

Uryuu stood in a smooth motion. His lean frame was still in perfect physical condition despite his thirty-seven years of life. He looked a decade younger than his actual age. People were always shocked when he revealed his true age.

The magazines and television shows always claimed men aged well, but Uryuu Ishida aged better than most. He’d been lucky to keep his inky black locks sans slight gray shading on the temples, unlike his father who had gone white fairly early in his youth. There was still time to go gray, especially considering all the things going on in his life.

“Then, I wish you the best, Mira.”

He knew she was hoping he would fight for her, stake his claim of dominance…but he couldn’t. Letting her go was for the best. Any capacity he had for love was gone. If she could find love and acceptance with her new lover, he wished her well in her endeavor. If she was lucky, she might even have another child. At thirty-five, she was still young and fit enough to do so.

The small twinkle of hope in her green eyes faded away, revealing sad acceptance. She knew it was over. It had been over for a long time, neither possessing the will to admit it.

Her manicured fingers wrapped around the papers he’d signed minutes before. “I’m sorry.”

She turned to leave, pausing to glance over her shoulder to reveal her stunningly green eyes filling with tears of regret. “Uryuu…I hope you find someone who can bring the smile back to your face.”

“I’ve never been much of a smiler, Mira,” he answered while turning his gaze to the patient file before him.

She smiled slightly before nodding and exiting the office. “Goodbye, Uryuu.”

The snapping of the lock as the door closed echoed in the plush upscale doctor’s office. His patients were the elite of New York–even the city mayor was a regular for his acid reflux. He was one of the most desired doctors in the city. Waiting lists for his patient roster were months or years in length.

He was praised for his skill at caring for every aspect of his patients but when the time had come, he’d been unable to save his son. All his money and skills, yet still disease took the very light of his life from him–ripping his happy family into shreds. In the end…there was nothing he could do and the knowledge left him broken in ways he couldn’t imagine.

His hands shook as he took the silver framed picture from his desk and stared. He stared at what he’d lost. He’d lost his way. Knowing that even in the afterlife he was likely to never see his son again or that even if he did, they wouldn’t know each other burned him in ways he could not begin to describe.

He was tempted to take his life. The thought was a quiet whisper forever present in the back of his thoughts. It would be easy. He had access to more than enough medication. It would be a simple chore, and then all the pain and hurt from his life would end. He would drift into forgetfulness and darkness. Who he was would cease to exist along with all the painful memories.

As large blue eyes stared at him from the happy smiling face in the photograph, his heart objected. To kill himself, even to alleviate the pain, went against every part of his being. His grandfather would roll over in his grave if he knew his grandson and student was considering such an option.

Uryuu was nothing if not the devoted follower of the Quincy ways even if he didn’t participate in the more physical aspects as much as he had done in his youth. Real life had a way of interrupting the ideals of youth. The honor of the Quincy gave less comfort these days.

His eyes drifted closed as he rested his head against the back of his office chair. He suddenly felt old and alone. He’d arranged for the home he’d shared with Mira and Toru to be sold and was living in an apartment in the city. There was nothing waiting for him in his former home but memories. He possessed more than enough of them without having them glaring in his face…and with Mira gone…there was really no point in staying. It made separating their assets all the easier anyway. He had wanted to laugh at the disgruntled looks their lawyers wore at that first and only meeting before the divorce papers were drawn up. They had thought they would have a fight for every penny, but found both husband and wife amicable in their split.

Pressing a button on his desk, he waited impatiently for his receptionist to answer. He needed to get out. The confines of his office were smothering him.

“Yes, Doctor?”

He winced at the bubbly response. “Reschedule my appointments for today.”

There was a pause. “Sir?”

Uryuu stood and shed his white coat before reaching for his light fall trench coat. “Just do it. I’m done for the day.”

“Yes, sir.”

He could not deal with people and their problems today. Their superficial complaints only acerbated his pain. My nose job isn’t healing right. My mistress says I’m not fucking her enough. Can I have Viagra?

It was all the same. None possessed any life threatening illnesses. They could wait. They could all wait.

As he walked through the parking garage, he listened to the echoes of his shoes on the quiet interior. They were like the tolls of his dissatisfaction.

He slid into the interior of a blue Mercedes, hearing the creak of the leather as he adjusted in the seat. He knew where he needed to go. There was only one place calling to him.

It was a half of an hour drive outside the city, but he’d wanted only the best for his son. Toru would need the quiet to rest.

He pulled into the paved drive and carefully guided his vehicle up a hill to a quiet stretch of green grass decorated by white marble statues and headstones of various styles. His eyes scanned the area, knowing exactly where his son lay.

The wind whipped at his coat as he walked slowly past various tombs, his long legs eating up the ground until he reached the small stone. His eyes misted as he gazed upon the marble marking the final resting place of his son.

_Toru Ishida–beloved son._

A Quincy cross dangled from the paw of an engraved teddy bear. His son had loved teddy bears. Uryuu had made sure he was buried with one, not that it really mattered. He knew where his son was, still it gave him some small bit of comfort to know that his son's corpse lay protected by the small bear placed in his arms.

“Toru…” he gasped out, falling to his knees before the stone.

Tears poured from his eyes. This was the only place that would see his tears. His honor wouldn’t allow them to be split anywhere else. Not even Mira had seen him cry.

The wind howled as if reflecting his inner grief and loneliness. No parent should have to see their child die, yet somehow he would have to find the will to go on. He felt as if the world weighed him down and he lacked the strength to pull himself to his feet once more. There was no one to shield him from the tempests beating away at his soul. He was alone in his grief.

Hours past as if as minutes and still he sat, his hand stroking along the cool marble. His thoughts continued to ask why. Why had Toru contracted a rare form of leukemia? Why had the treatments failed? Why had he left him alone?

The questions burned his soul. After all he’d done…after all he’d been through, didn’t he deserve happiness? Had he not earned it?

As the sun began setting and finally dipping into the horizon, Uryuu stumbled to his feet. If ever there was a night to get drunk, it was tonight. He needed the numbness and oblivion alcohol provided. It was the only way he would sleep tonight. His demons were too powerful for him to resist without the aid.

He parked his car in a garage and walked down one of the busier streets until he reached a seemingly quiet bar located on the street corner. The interior was as clean as such a place could be with small tables and sturdy chairs decorating the floor. A small crowd of people huddled around the bar while a few patrons willingly drowned their sorrows in the never ending flow of alcohol. An ancient jukebox played in the corner, adding a bit of charm to the place, not that the majority of the customers gave it much mind. They were too busy working away from sobriety to bother pumping coins into the machine.

It was a state he soon hoped to join them in. He’d never liked drinking alone. While he was alone in this pub, he was also surrounded by others. It was the next best thing to a drinking partner. He wasn’t completely alone in the silence of the apartment he’d rented. The memories…they hurt too much to be alone in silence.

“Drinking alone?”

Uryuu lifted his blue gaze to the waitress before shrugging his shoulders. “Doesn’t look alone to me. I see plenty people in here.”

Her lip twitched and she sent him a wink. “What’s your pleasure?”

“Glenlivet Scotch…a bottle of it. Preferably around 1980.”

Her brow lifted. “That’s like $300.”

Uryuu inserted his hand into the inner pocket of his trench coat and extracted his wallet. From it he handed her his Platinum Amex. “And a glass, please.”

She nodded and disappeared, giving him a chance to observe the slightly smoky interior. The small crowd was still huddled around the bar, making it difficult to see what was going on in that area. Probably some gimmick to draw in customers. Maybe the bartender was flipping bottles like Tom Cruise in Cocktail or dancing as in Coyote Ugly.

Uryuu snorted to himself at the thought, nodding to the woman when she returned with his scotch and receipt. He didn’t really care what was going on. He was here to drink himself into oblivion, not be entertained with a drinking show.

Swallowing the first glass of the amber liquid had him hissing faintly through his teeth. The thirty year old scotch burned painful and smooth down his throat before pooling heatedly in his empty stomach. Almost immediately he felt the warmth enveloping him. The first swallow was always the best…and the worst.

Settling back in his chair, he took another shot before quietly nursing his third. He didn’t need to get wasting in five minutes. He could enjoy the liquor for what it was before he completely drowned himself.

The crowd surrounding the bar was beginning to dwindle. Uryuu found his eyes sliding towards the shadowed frame of the bartender. It was mere curiosity that made him look but what he saw shocked him to the very core. He’d never met anyone who could even remotely remind him of that man, making him entirely certain the person he was setting was in fact one of the many ghosts from his youth.

“Sado? What the fuck?”

New York City was a long way from Karakura Town–a very long way. What was Sado Yasutora doing here…and acting as a barkeep no less? It was none of his business and he’d left that life in the small town long ago.

On occasion he received a letter from Orihime, detailing what was going on in the town. It had been a while though. Probably over a year. She hadn’t mentioned Sado coming here…but then, why would she? It wasn’t any of his business or hers what any of their group of old friends did.

The thought gave him pause. Friends? Could he even call them former friends? Battle companions–yes. Allies–certainly. But were they friends?

He’d never given any of them a chance to be close to him. Not really. They’d been through so much together but that damn Quincy pride never allowed him to think of them as more than tools to aid him in his goals at the time and eventually as comrades. Friends, however, spoke of deeper connections.

Taking another sip of his scotch, he took a moment to analyze his former ally. The years had been kind to the giant of a man. Sado was still a towering man with shaggy dark hair shadowing his soft brown eyes. Alone, none of his features were anything that could be called remarkable or attractive. His eyes were lazily shaped, his lips too large, his nose slightly crooked, and his frame hulking.

Separately, his features might be unremarkable, but when viewed as a whole, he was amazingly attractive. In Sado’s case, the whole was greater than the individual parts. Together, Sado Yasutora was a very handsome man, more so with a few years age on him.

At that moment, a lazy brown eye turned towards Uryuu’s table. There was a pause before the eye widened in surprise. The large frame turned to a woman behind the bar and spoke in a hushed tone before moving from his position and towards Uryuu.

“You’re Uryuu Ishida?” he asked upon coming to a stop by Uryuu’s table.

Uryuu inclined his head, adjusting his glasses in a nervous habit he found difficult to break. “It’s been a while, Sado Yasutora.”

Wide lips tilted upward in a faint smile before his head nodded to the empty chair. “May I join you?”

Uryuu gave a bored gesture. He was too buzzed to offer a witty comment…and too melancholy to bother. At least now he didn’t have to drink alone.

Sado’s visible dark eye seemed to bore holes into him. It was a disconcerting feeling, one he found difficult to avoid fidgeting under. The man had always had a way of looking at a person as if weighing his value.

“Why are you in New York? I would assume you would stay in Karakura Town or at the most, return to Mexico,” asked Uryuu, breaking the long silence.

Sado hummed low as if considering his answer. “I stayed for a while, but soon found myself wanting to wander.”

Uryuu snorted, tossing back another shot. His mind was becoming hazed. The feeling was nice. He was still exerted some control of his mind…but barely.

“How long have you been…wandering?”

Sado accepted the offered glass from a server and allowed Uryuu to pour him a finger of scotch. “Nearly ten years.”

Uryuu nodded, downing another shot. He was working fairly quickly through the bottle. The effects were starting to effect him. The most obvious sign was the loosening of his normally restricted tongue.

“I suppose you want to know why I’m drinking. Why is straight laced Uryuu Ishida formerly of Karakura Town drinking himself into oblivion?” Uryuu’s words were beginning to slur and his hand eye coordination having difficulty pouring the expensive liquor.

Sado didn’t respond either way to Uryuu’s questions. He merely stared silently as his former ally and classmate rambled on with his semi drunken comments. He always was the better listener than talker.

“Well…I’m celebrating…today I signed my divorce papers. I’m a single man again…fifteen years…gone.” Uryuu leaned back in his chair his gaze going hooded. “My son’s gone. My wife’s gone. That’s why I am killing both my liver and my brain in one swoop.”

Sado’s eyes filled with compassion and he reached a hand to pat Uryuu’s shoulder comfortingly. “I’m sure your wife will allow you to see your son.”

Uryuu stiffened before opening his alcohol hazy eyes. “Toru’s dead.”

He couldn’t stand the small bit of sobriety that took over. He wanted to forget, not remember. His hands shook as he attempted to pour a double only to have strong solid hands take the bottle from his hands.

“You shouldn’t drink.”

Frown lines formed between Uryuu’s eyes. “Fuck off. I’m not a kid any longer. I don’t care about saving the world when I couldn’t even save my son.”

“Uryuu…”

Uryuu heard the pity in the voice and couldn’t stand it. That’s all he ever felt from his so called friends and acquaintances after Toru’s death. He didn’t want their pity. They could all take it and shove it up their asses. He still had his pride, even if living after his son’s death was more than a little difficult.

“I’m fine, damn it. I don’t want your pity.”

“You shouldn’t use alcohol to ease your pain,” said Sado quietly.

Another swallow was pounded back just for spite. “I have to. I…miss him…so much. Do you know what it’s like…seeing yourself…through your child? To lose that…”

“No.”

Uryuu laughed loudly, the tightness in his chest easing under the haze of alcohol. “Pray you never do, Sado Yasutora.”

He moved to stand, only to have the room begin spinning dangerously. He hadn’t felt this much loss of equilibrium while sitting but now on his feet, he wasn’t sure he would be able to make it out of the bar, let alone into a cab.

“Easy,” mumbled Sado, his warm arms wrapping around Uryuu’s waist to support him.

“S’okay. I’m fine,” grunted Uryuu.

“You’re drunk.”

He couldn’t stop the small giggle rising to his lips. When had Sado become so funny? He hadn’t seen him in nearly twenty years. It was a lot of time to change.

“You’re funny,” snickered Uryuu while using Sado as a crutch. “That was the point…getting drunk.”

“Drinking isn’t the answer,” was the deep reply.

“Shows what you knows…I feels so much better now that I’m drunk,” slurred Uryuu with a lopsided grin on his face.

Sado heaved a sigh, leading Uryuu towards the exit. He threw a hand up to the woman behind the bar to which she waved him off. He didn’t stop moving until they were on the curb and awaiting a taxi.

“Where do you live?” asked Sado as he slid into the backseat next to him.

Uryuu blinked several times, his brain taking longer than it should have to process the question. “I have…an apartment…Rosewood Towers. Eighth floor.”

Sado nodded to the driver and settled back in the cramped rear seat. His large body didn’t contort quite so easily into the small cab, forcing him to sprawl sideways with the other’s legs across his lap.

“You know something…” Uryuu frowned, his brain attempting to focus enough to speak. “You want to know something?”

Deep brown eyes turned to stare at Uryuu. “What is it?”

“I always liked you.” Uryuu’s eyes turned distant. “You…weren’t loud. It…was…nice.”

Sado’s chest gave a low rumble, making Uryuu snicker. “You don’t talk much. You’re so fucking big…you could easily make people…”

“It goes against my honor,” answered Sado. “I only use my size and strength to protect.”

Ah yes. A gentle giant. That is what Sado was. He had copious amounts of physical strength and stamina, yet he, despite it all, he sought only to protect.

Uryuu’s eyes fluttered closed, leaving only small snores coming from his lips. The alcohol and mental turmoil were finally taking their toll in the rocking motion of the taxi. He couldn’t fight it, and really didn’t want to. If this was the only oblivion he could have, he would take it.

oOo

Searing pain shot through Uryuu’s head as morning sunlight filtered through a faint crack in the blinds. No matter how much a person might try to close up blinds, if there was a crack; it was almost guaranteed to shine directly across one’s eyes. It was Murphy’s Law.

Rolling over on the soft cotton, he buried his face into the fluffy pillow. He already regretted his decision to bury his troubles in booze. His stomach rolled and his temples pounded. His mouth felt like cotton and tasted like something had crawled inside and died.

Feeling like this, he wished he could die. It had nothing to do with his emotional suffering…he just really hated feeling like this hungover and sick.

His body gave a great shudder as he rolled into a sitting position, finding all his clothes had been discarded save for his boxers. Glancing to the bedside table, he saw a glass of water, two aspirin, his glasses, and a note scribbled on a pad.

Memories of the previous night rushed back in full force. He remembered it all. He remembered Sado Yasutora half carrying him out of the bar. He remembered strong arms holding him over the toilet as his body wretched violently to rid himself of the poison he had ingested. He recalled falling asleep shortly thereafter, but could remember nothing more.

Downing the aspirin and all of the water, he stared at the note. The chicken scratch note would make even the smartest doctor proud.

_Don‘t drown yourself in alcohol, Uryuu._

_-Sado_

“Short and to the point,” mumbled Uryuu as he tossed aside the note and stumbled into the bathroom. “Some things never change, apparently.”

The large shower was calling his name, making his body heave a great sigh at the feel of warm water rushing over him. Rivulets of soap and water raced down his body, swirling around the drain. A shower might do little for his headache and nausea, but it did wonders for his state of being.

Today was Saturday. No matter his patient load, he always took Saturday and Sunday off from the office. It was his time to spend with Toru. Now with him gone, he tended to find himself listless, often spending the days staring mindlessly at the television or at the cemetery.

Sitting on the leather sofa performing the same actions he had since Toru’s death, he found a strange desire to go out. The aspirin and water had eased his headache to a dull and occasional throb, nothing he couldn’t handle. With such inspiration to exit his home, he couldn’t in good conscience stay inside.

But where would he go? The park would remind him too much of Toru as would most of the recreational type areas. After his breakdown yesterday, he didn’t have it in him to risk another outing where a breakdown was possible.

Tapping long tapered fingers on the arm of the sofa, he wondered what Sado was doing. Was he working? Would he even want to talk with him after his shameful performance the previous night?

Uryuu didn’t want to be alone, yet he had no one to lean on for support. All his friends were introduced through his wife and he’d burned most of those bridges after their separation. Sado was really the only person who knew him before he came to New York.

Heaving a sigh, he stood and walked towards the door. He wouldn’t be able to rest until he at least thanked the man for helping him the previous night. Strangely, seeing him after so many years gave him a peculiar sense of happiness. It was like having some of what he’d lost when he left Karakura Town returned to him.

Dressing, he exited the apartment and took a cab to the bar. It was the only clue he had to finding Sado, not to mention he needed to retrieve his car from the garage he’d left it in the previous night.

The street seemed different in the light. As he strolled along the dirty and stained sidewalk, he couldn’t help feeling a little more lighthearted. It was a nice feeling after so long in deep depression.

The bar was open though empty except for a single man seated at the wooden bar. The interior seemed less appealing in the light, the sunlight showcasing the grime covered floor and smoke stained walls.

“What can I get for you?” asked the bartender, a gruff man in his fifties.

“I’m looking for Sado Yasutora. He…was working here last night,” said Uryuu.

Gray eyes narrowed and lips pulled down into a slight frown. “Who wants to know about Sado?”

“Uryuu Ishida. I’m a friend from high school. I wanted to thank him for what he did for me last night.”

The eyes seemed to measure Uryuu before nodding. “He lives upstairs. Head outside and take the metal stairs on the side of the building.”

“Thank you.” Uryuu nodded his thanks and exited the bar in search of the stairs leading to the apartment above.

He took the metal steps two at a time, working his way up to a weather-beaten wooden door. Nervous energy pounded through him. In his sober state, he couldn’t help but shift under it.

Taking a breath he knocked loudly enough for any occupants inside to hear. It was now or never and he truly wanted to thank the man for his consideration the previous night. And to apologize.

Several moments passed with no sound, making Uryuu knock again. This time there was the sound of shuffling before the door opened to reveal a dark tanned chest directly in view of his eyes. Unable to resist, his gaze traveled down the tight, smooth skin until it reached the dark trail of hair beginning at the navel and disappearing into dangerously low jeans barely held aloft by narrow hips.

He couldn’t think. While granted he found men just as attractive as women, he hadn’t really thought in terms of sex with them for many years. Seeing Sado in such a state of undress had him reconsidering his previous sexual affiliation to very much interestied in sex with men.

“Uryuu?” Sleepy brown eyes blinked slowly.

“Sado…I’m sorry I woke you. I didn’t think that if you worked nights you would be sleep in the day.” Uryuu couldn’t stop the faint blush from teasing across his cheeks. “I just wanted to thank you…for last night.”

Lips curved upward in a smile, and the massive body moved aside to allow Uryuu entrance into the apartment. “Would you like to come in?”

Uryuu nodded and stepped inside the dark apartment. It was surprisingly clean. There wasn’t much in terms of furniture. A small sofa sat before a television set. The living area merged into a small utilitarian kitchen with a table and two chairs. Beside the kitchen was a small hallway, ending with two doors–most likely the bedroom and bathroom.

Sado disappeared into the back, emerging moments later with a white tee-shirt stretched over his bulging muscles. His massive frame looked even larger in the confined space of the apartment. Uryuu almost pitied the man. It was probably all he could afford if he was the rambling man he’d implied the previous night. Apartments in the city weren’t cheap, even in the worst parts of town.

“Thank you for the aspirin,” said Uryuu, suddenly feeling like an idiot but hating the silence between them.

Sado nodded as he moved into the kitchen, pulling out two bottles of water. “Drink this. It will help the hangover.”

Uryuu accepted the water. “I am a doctor, you know.”

A grunt was all he received as the other took a seat beside him on the sofa. “I’m sorry about your son.”

Uryuu flinched at the mention of Toru. Despite the pain that never left, he didn’t feel so bad when Sado spoke of him. It was therapeutic in a way.

“Thank you. So…have you heard from Ichigo or Orihime?” asked Uryuu, ready to change the subject.

Sado nodded. “I speak with Ichigo every few months. He has married. His wife is nice. It was a shame you weren’t there. I think Ichigo was looking forward to seeing you.”

Uryuu nodded, smiling a little sadly. Somehow Ichigo had swindled Uryuu’s address from Orihime. He’d received an invitation the week of Toru’s funeral. It had sat unopened on the foyer table for nearly three months. By that time, the wedding had passed. He could imagine Ichigo wasn’t too pleased with him but he’d never had the strength to write him back apologizing.

“Toru died the week the invitation was sent out. I didn’t realize he was marrying until much later,” explained Uryuu. “Was he upset?”

Chad lowered his gaze to his hands, a frown turning down his lips. “He was…disappointed. We all were. Even Rukia and Renji came, but I’m sure he understands, considering the circumstances.”

“I never told him.” Uryuu admitted. “I’ve had…trouble communicating with people lately.”

The large man grunted. “You seem to be doing fine now.”

“It’s you,” blurted out Uryuu before he could stop himself. “I mean…fuck…I don’t know what I mean. Talking with you…being with you…it’s therapeutic to me. I‘ve felt more alive since meeting you again than I have since before Toru became ill.”

“I’m glad…It is good to see you again, Uryuu,” replied Sado.

Uryuu shifted on the sofa, the nervous energy returning. He really wanted this to continue. It was nice even if the conversation wasn’t flowing consistently.

“Would you like to go get something to eat?”

Sado smiled. “I need to be back at nine for my shift at the bar.”

Uryuu returned the smile, probably the first real one crossing his face in over a year. “I think we can handle that.”

oOo

Dinner was uneventful, but the walk in the nearby park struck a painful cord in Uryuu. It was a park he’d taken Toru to often because of the many playgrounds. Even after over a year, he felt as if his heart was being ripped from his body.

His words trailed off and he stopped to stare at children being called away from the nearby swings and sand by mothers and nannies ready to retreat from the growing twilight shadows. He’d taken Toru here many times. His son always said this playground was the best because of the sandbox and the curly slide.

A young dark haired boy came shooting out the opening of the slide, making him jerk as if slapped. It couldn’t be. It was merely a trick of the light.

For a split second, he thought he saw his son. The pain nearly crippled him when reality broke through the tiny window of possibility formed by the memory. He knew Toru was dead and safely in Soul Society, yet still there was the tiny grain of hope sprouting at the sight of the boy only to be crushed beneath the heel of truth.

He felt Sado’s curiosity and sped up his pace while ducking his head to hide the tears threatening to form from the small break. He shouldn’t have suggested they walk back to Sado’s home. It was a mistake. He’d known they would need to cut through the park. He’d thought with Sado there, he could bear it with no trouble.

“Uryuu?”

He couldn’t answer. He needed to breathe. If he didn’t recover himself, Sado would see a part of him he wasn’t prepared to show. He couldn’t have that.

“Are you alright?”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks and shrugged his shoulders faintly. The more space they put between the playground and themselves, the calmer he became. It was simply a matter of control. Just a little longer and things would be fine again or as fine as anything in his upturned life could be.

A large hand latched onto his shoulder, forcing him to stop his quick pace. It jarred him from his person pity party and sent him back into the stark reality of who he was with.

“Are you alright?” repeated Sado, concern lacing his voice.

Uryuu turned his gaze to meet the concerned Sado. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

Uryuu shrugged, his gaze moving away. He couldn’t maintain eye contact. It felt as if Sado was staring into his soul. After so many years, he still possessed eyes that seemed to see more than simply the evident. After all they’d seen together, it wasn’t surprising really. Once you were touched by the spiritual, you could never truly be the way you were before. Ichigo Kurosaki was proof of that.

“I used to bring Toru here. I didn’t think about it until we passed the playground. I just needed to get away from that area,” admitted Uryuu, finally.

“I see.”

The understanding in his voice annoyed Uryuu. “How do you see? Who have you lost that left a hole so big you felt as if it was consuming you? Being a hollow must be painful because that‘s what I feel like.”

Sado didn’t seem to take offense to the anger directed at him. In fact, he seemed relieved by it. “My grandfather.”

Uryuu shook his head. “It’s not the same thing.”

“Does it matter if it is a child or parent. The pain is still the same at their loss.”

Uryuu heaved a sigh. “I watched my son grow from a tiny infant. I raised him. It’s not the same.”

“My grandfather raised me. Grief doesn’t matter.” Sado returned his hand to Uryuu’s shoulder. “It still hurts. I was very close to my grandfather in the end. I still miss him.”

He wanted to argue but couldn’t. He was too tired from carrying the weight of his son’s loss with him to fight it. What caused him to allow Sado to help him with his burden, he wasn’t sure. It wasn’t a physical burden but one of the soul. Surprisingly, Sado was strong in that aspect as well as in his physical muscles.

Uryuu’s head fell forward until his brow pressed against strong muscle. What was it about Sado that forced him to open up? He sought him like a moth to the flame–seeking both redemption and forgiveness.

“It’s alright to cry, Uryuu.”

He shook his head, his shoulder shaking in an effort to keep the tears from coming. A strong hand lifted and cupped his cheek in a surprisingly gentle motion. The touch was so light and delicate from such a large man that his control shifted slightly before breaking entirely.

First one, and then another tear dripped from his eyes and down his cheeks to run over the large tan fingers cupping his face. His gaze lifted to stare into Sado’s visible eye, seeing waves of compassion and understanding flowing from him. It gave comfort and strength, something until this moment, Uryuu had dismissed from any who offered.

“It will be ok, Uryuu.”

He wanted to believe it. He really did. Coming from Sado’s lips, he felt he could.

“What are you doing?” whispered Uryuu, his eyes never breaking contact with the soft gaze of the gentle giant.

Large lips turned upward in a small but amazingly beautiful smile. Sado didn’t smile nearly enough. Even in their youth, he always seemed to possess this gentle air, defending those who needed his help but never taking laughter and happiness for himself.

“I’m helping you,” he answered.

Uryuu’s eyes widened, the blue of his iris looking iridescent from the tear wetness and fading sunlight. “Sado…”

“Tell me how I can help you, Uryuu?” Sado asked quietly.

There was pause. He didn’t want to be alone tonight. He’d been alone every night since before Toru died.

“Stay with me…tonight.”

Sado’s eyes grew wide and his lips parted in surprise. “I have to work.”

“Please…”

Sado’s great chest heaved a sigh before his head lowered in a nod. “Alright.”

Uryuu relaxed against him. He wouldn’t be alone.

oOo

Instead of returning to Sado’s small apartment, they found themselves in Uryuu’s. It was quite a bit larger than Sado's hole in the wall, though even in the spacious living area, Sado’s frame seemed all the more massive. Was there any place he could live in comfortably without looking like a giant?

“Are you feeling better?”

Uryuu stiffened and turned quickly to hide the flush forming on his cheeks before making his way towards the small bar set up in the corner of the room. His metaphorical armor was once more in place, keeping him from making a fool of himself as he had earlier in the park. He couldn’t let Sado worm his way under his skin like that so easily. He needed to be diligent and control the direction their relationship went.

“Would you like a drink?” asked Uryuu upon pouring a shot of Jack.

“Uryuu…”

Uryuu swallowed the whiskey with a grimace. “I’m afraid I haven’t been honest with you, Sado.”

Sado’s head inclined to the side as he awaited Uryuu’s explanation for his statement. Thick brown hair the color of freshly turned soil shifted to reveal the normally shadowed eyes. He didn’t speak, merely waited.

It was now or never. Uryuu could conjure some excuse to send him on his way but he found himself unable to form the words. He needed the stability Sado gave him. He needed physical comfort to overshadow the emotional pain he suffered.

They were both men. Emotions weren’t so easily revealed though still felt. They spoke in terms of possession and physicality. It was a language both could speak and though it wasn’t a permanent fix, it would bandage his wounds enough to provide at least a small measure of comfort.

“I want you to stay with me tonight. You offer comfort…I want to take it. I don’t want words but actions. I want to fuck you, but if you’re not open to that sort of comfort, it’s probably better if you leave. I’m not in the mood for words.”He was speaking before his brain fully measured the consequences of his words. He simply wanted to forget and there was only two ways he knew how to do that, drinking or sex.

Sado’s lips parted, his eyes blinking slowly as he apparently processed the information revealed. The pause seemed longer than was necessary, making a favorable outcome seem less forthcoming.

“It’s fine.” Uryuu finished his drink and moved past Sado towards the door. “I’ll give you cab fare. You’ll be back home in time for work as you’d wished.”

No sooner were the words leaving his lips than a tan hand wrapped around his bicep. “I didn’t say no.”

Uryuu paused, his eyes lifting to meet the dark gaze. He was not sure he had heard him correctly. Some part of him had wanted him to decline the offer while another, equally powerful one had prayed he wouldn't. “You’re sure?”

Sado nodded slowly. His eyes never seemed to leave Uryuu as his hand was taken and he was led down a hall towards the bedroom. His presence was like a warm blanket tossed around them.

As they entered the bedroom, Uryuu paused to remove his glasses and set them on the bedside table before turning to face Sado. He stared intently as he approached the silent occupant. Already he could feel his body growing hard at the thought of having free reign to explore that amazing body.

The other’s height was a bit of a deterrent as it had been many years since he’d been with a man and never one as large as Sado. It made kissing a trial while standing, as he was forced to tug on the other’s neck in order to bring their lips together.

Sado’s lips remained still beneath his, forcing Uryuu to use his tongue to tease them open. He swiped the muscle across the full lower lip before nipping at the flesh. A slight gasp was just the opening he waited for, allowing him to slide his tongue easily inside.

Warmth enveloped him as his tongue danced across straight white teeth before withdrawing after only a short exploration. Sado’s lips were so soft, he was drawn time and again to them. He wanted to kiss him all night.

His hands slipped into calloused palms, tugging the larger man towards the bed. With a firm hand, he pressed him into a sitting position on the edge before dropping to his knees between splayed thighs. He could see the forming bulge at the apex of Sado’s groin, making his lips water at the thought of devouring it.

His smile turned feral as he slid his hands against the rough material, pressing and stroking the ever growing thickness. He could hear Sado’s stuttering breath and low moans as he stimulated the hard flesh. They were music to his ears, letting him know not all his skills in the bedroom were rusty.

The button and fly gave way beneath his nimble fingers as he eased his hand into the hot interior. He couldn’t stop the smirk tilting one corner of his lips as he wrapped a hand unimpeded around the thick girth of Sado’s erection. Sado didn’t wear underwear. That was an interesting revelation he would keep stored away for the future.

Just as soon as the thought entered his mind, he paused in his ministrations. Already he was implying there would be more nights like tonight–that tonight wasn’t a simple coming together of bodies in comfort. Tomorrow morning wouldn’t be the end of this…or would it?

Eyes darted up to catch a glimpse of his partner’s face. He needed to see the effect he had on the other.

Brown eyes were closed and wide lips parted just enough to reveal the pink tongue within. A throbbing pulse was visible at the base of his throat just above the gold coin pendant he’d worn for as long as Uryuu had known him. It was evident in his response that he was enjoying the touches.

A tongue darted out to wet Uryuu’s lips as he lowered his gaze to the thick shaft present in his hand. Its size was appropriate for Sado‘s build, making it larger than the average cock…much larger. Thick veins ran upward from the base, giving it texture and making him long to trace the path of each one.

His gaze followed upward until he reached the flaring tip where beads of pre-cum bubbled from the slit before sliding downward to provide the most basic of lubrication. He couldn’t resist the sight before him. He’d never sucked a cock that thick before. There was no way he would be able to take it all in his throat, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t make the experience amazing for Sado.

“I’m going to assume you’re clean, because if you’re not…I will shoot an arrow straight through your genitals,” purred Uryuu deviously.

“I’m clean,” gasped Sado, under the assault of a stroking hand.

Lowering his lips, he swept his tongue over the tip before glancing upward to watch Sado’s head fall backwards to reveal his sinewy neck, veins bulging with blood. It was perhaps the sexiest sight Uryuu had ever seen. He felt the lids of his eyes drift downward as he opened his mouth to take in more of the thickness.

He felt the body shift beneath him and his hands immediately went to steady the hips. If Sado thrust into his mouth, it would choke him.

He slid a hand from its location on lean hips upward in a slow motion, pushing across the tightly muscled abdomen. He pressed forward, his lips never leaving their suction on the red, flared tip.

Sado seemed to understand his movement and fell backwards onto the mattress. His breath huffed in and out, making his chest rise and fall in a less than steady rhythm. Sweat already glistened on the visible skin, a sure sign of his pleasured state.

The sight Sado made, only incited Uryuu to suck harder and deeper. He wanted to taste the thick cum on his tongue. The bitter fluid would go down as smoothly as the finest scotch.

Sado arched under a particularly powerful suck. Up until that point he’d remained relatively silent beneath the assault, only the occasional small gasps or moans escaping. As Uryuu’s fingers cupped his balls, he couldn’t or didn't bother to stop the shout escaping from his lips.

It was the only warning Uryuu received before feeling the sac in his hands draw up and cum shoot from the head into his mouth, nearly choking him in the onslaught. He sat back with a coughing gasp, staring in shocked amazement at the shuddering frame sprawled across his bed. "A little warning would have been nice."

Sado flushed a becoming red. "I'm...sorry."

Damn, but he looked fuckable.

“Was it that good, Sado?” smirked Uryuu as he moved from his kneeling position to stand next to the bed, looking down on the other man.

Dark eyes fluttered, staring almost dumbly at Uryuu while a faint blush became even more evident beneath the darkly tanned cheeks. “It’s been a while.”

A tapered black brow arched as he worked on the buttons of his shirt. “Oh really? You’re quite attractive. I would think women and men would throw themselves at you.”

The tan throat swallowed as Uryuu’s shirt fell away to reveal lean muscles, chiseled with age and experience. His body was dotted with various scars, results of their escapades as youths, the most prominent being a large star shaped scar in the middle of his chest. The pale body was in prime condition.

“I don’t sleep around.”

Uryuu smirked at the low rumbling comment. “Oh? I suppose that’s good because I’m very possessive.”

His eyes traced the body before tugging off work worn boots, the jeans from Sado’s hips, and the shirt from his chest. The sight before him forced him to bite the inside of his jaw to keep from moaning. Sado was so fucking sexy it couldn’t be legal. His body was even better looking now than in their youth.

This was what he needed. His hands dropped to his pants, shedding them as quickly as he could before crawling atop Sado. His tongue darted out to wet his lips while he eyed the smorgasbord laid out before him.

Unable to resist, he lowered his lips to capture one of the tan nipples standing at attention on the broad chest. He could taste the sweat and musk unique to Sado. It was addicting to him. His teeth bit down hard on the flesh, loving the yelp that escaped the body beneath him.

“Uryuu…”

Passion glazed eyes stared at Uryuu as he assaulted the chest, leaving bruises every few inches as he worked his way upward. “Does it feel good, Sado?”

“Yes,” he hissed through his teeth as Uryuu took the lobe of one ear between his teeth.

“Good.”

He sat back upon feeling the renewal of Sado’s erection pressing against his thigh. While he wasn’t opposed to being penetrated, he needed something different. He needed to be in control. Giving up his control to Sado wasn’t the answer…at least, not tonight.

“Sado…” he whispered into the ear. “I need this. Can I take you?”

The other paused, surprise washing across his face. “What?”

Uryuu lowered his lips so that they barely brushed Sado’s. “You don’t like the thought of me taking you?”

The shock wore off quickly. “I’ve never…no one has ever asked me to bottom.”

“Ah,” murmured Uryuu. “With your size, they assumed you would top. How very presumptuous of them. I think you will make a wonderful bottom.”

Uryuu reached into the beside drawer for the lotion he used on his hands to keep the scars gained from years of using a spiritual bow from becoming too tight. It wasn’t the most ideal lube, but his cock wasn’t as wide or as long as Sado’s. It would be enough for their purposes.

His hands guided Sado onto his side with one leg bent towards his chest. It would be easier than forcing the other to hold his legs aloft while he prepped him, while keeping him from feeling insecure upon his hands and knees. He wanted this to be good for both of them.

His hand squeezed the thick cream onto his fingers, smearing it well over the digits before pressing one against the twitching pucker. “Ready?”

He heard Sado swallow before attempting to relax. “Yeah.”

“Good,” he murmured.

One hand massaged the base of Sado’s spine while the fingers of the other pressed inward into the tight heat. The body might be extra large, but his hole felt ungodly tight, so much so that Uryuu released a low moan in anticipation. Nothing could compare to a man’s ass. He’d never attempted anal sex with his ex-wife, so to soon be inside something so tight had him panting desperately.

He spread the lotion as thickly as he could inside the heated crevice as well as stretching the rarely used muscles. His body screamed at him to finish quickly so that he could be buried in hot heat.

“Sado,” said Uryuu through hooded eyes. “I don’t have any condoms. I’ll pull out before I come if you don’t want me coming inside you.”

“No, it's fine” whispered Sado, his gaze turning to look directly at Uryuu. “I want you to come inside me.”

A flush darkened Uryuu’s cheeks, working down his neck and across his pale chest. He was so aroused by the comment, he was forced to reach down and grasped the base of his cock to keep from spending himself from the words alone. Where was his usually stringent control? When had Sado become such a sexual creature? On some level, he wondered if this was a sort of pity directed at him, but quickly dismissed it. Sado was an upfront person. He would never fake attraction or lust just for the sake of comforting.

“Fuck…” Uryuu panted. “Keep talking like that and I’ll come.”

Sado smiled, though his fingers clenched desperately into the spread. He obviously needed this as much as him.

Uryuu grabbed the lotion, drizzling the cool cream over his heated cock. He couldn’t stop the moan from escaping as he rubbed his hand back and forth over the flesh to spread the make-do lubricant. He wouldn’t be able to wait any longer. He’d needed this…this connection for far too long. How long had it been since he’d felt this alive? Even before his son’s death, he and his wife were never the most sexually active people. Now he was being thrust back into the hedonistic fold and loving every moment of it.

He was so closed to being enveloped by this gorgeous creature laid out before him. His body shuddered as the tip of his cock pressed teasingly against the clenching entrance. “You ready?

The body beneath him tensed before relaxing as much as was possible. It made Uryuu smile. “I’ll make you feel good.”

With an easy thrusting motion, he slid inside the slick heat. It was tight, amazingly so. The muscles rippled over him. He’d never felt anything like it.

“Fuck,” he hissed under his breath as he struggled to keep from coming.

His gaze dropped to Sado’s clenched face and flagging erection. The worst was over. Now his job was to make his partner feel good.

With slow, shallow thrusts, Uryuu measured the level of discomfort on Sado’s face. His hand lowered to stroke over the brown shaft with each inward thrust. The winces soon faded into gasping cries each time he pushed inside.

“Madre de Dios…” gasped Sado, reverting to Spanish in his pleasure.

“Don’t call to God,” hissed Uryuu, his hands fisting in Sado’s shaggy locks and forcing his gaze to meet his own. “Call to me.”

It was becoming increasing difficult to maintain the steady rhythm. With each thrust resulting in a gasping moan from the man beneath him, Uryuu couldn’t keep his body from shuddering wildly. Pleasure built in the base of his spine before moving to his balls in a thick pooling of lust. Try though he might, he couldn’t contain the heat as it erupted from his body and into Sado.

His mind was barely functional as he reached beneath his partner, wrapping a slender hand around the thick girth and stroking the hard length until wet seed spilled from Sado in a hard gush. The body surrounding him clenched so tight his eyes rolled back in his head before collapsing atop the other.

For the longest time they lay that way. Neither moved or spoke, their breathing and heart rates slowly returned to normal. Sado was the first to break the silence.

“Uryuu…are you alright?”

A small chuckle escaped from him. “Shouldn’t it be me asking you that?”

Sado’s face softened and he lifted a hand to stroke through the bangs sticking to Uryuu’s cheeks from the sweat caused by their exertion. “I’m glad.”

Uryuu withdrew and lowered his head to Sado’s chest. The strong heart thrummed its regular beat, relaxing him. He felt at peace.

It wasn’t the sex. The sex was merely the physical manifestation of it. It was the sense of completion. He felt complete after so long. In the wake of his son’s death, he felt the certainty of knowing another person was there to catch him if he fell. Perhaps eventually he could find the peace he thought he’d buried with his son.

oOo

It was gradual, like the browning of the leaves in fall or the flowering of trees in the spring. He didn’t wake up one morning and say, I’m in love with Sado. It wasn’t like that. It was something more.

Fall gave way to winter and Uryuu found himself once more seated at the bar watching his lover wait upon customer after customer. It was soothing to know that every chance he got, he would move near him. Even if they didn’t talk, it was fine. He was happy just to have his attention.

If Uryuu had something to say, Sado listened. It was something he needed. When they were alone, he found himself confiding things he never would have to anyone, even Mira. Sado was someone he trusted. That’s why he felt he was ready to introduce him to his son.

“Can you take tomorrow off?” asked Uryuu, as Sado began wiping down the counter.

Dark eyes turned to look at him. “Yes.”

“Good,” replied Uryuu. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

Already he was feeling nervous about the upcoming day. It felt like something monumental, as if he was overcoming some integral hurdle. He was ready to be more than sex partners with Sado. He wanted him to understand completely.

As the night faded into day, the two men soon found themselves driving down the road towards the secluded cemetery. Upon pulling beneath the archway, Uryuu maneuvered the car up a familiar incline before stopping. He didn’t speak as he escorted Sado towards a small lone grave set aside from the rest.

“This is Toru.”

Sado bowed his head in respect to the small stone. “You honor me with the introduction.”

Uryuu snorted before beginning to wipe the winter snow from on and around the stone. “He’s a little dense, Toru, but I think you would have liked him.”

“Are you alright?” asked Sado quietly.

“The cancer took him so quickly…one day he was laughing and playing…the next…” Uryuu closed his eyes. “I really wanted to die. I wanted to follow him. I was so angry. After all we did for both worlds…I would have thought nothing bad happening would be our unofficial reward. I think we got screwed by the powers that be.”

“Some times things happen for a reason,” murmured Sado.

Uryuu lifted his gaze. “What reason could there be for him dying?”

“Would you have been in the bar that night if Toru had not died?”

There was a stifling silence before he answered. “No…”

“It sounds selfish, and I am not happy for the death of your son, but I am happy you walked into that particular bar. I was planning on taking to the road again because I didn’t have a reason to stay.” Sado smiled faintly. “I’ve been alone for a long time. But you changed that.”

Uryuu closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of warmth coming from the large body to his side. “Is that an I love you?”

Sado grunted, his hand withdrawing from his pocket and slipping into Uryuu’s gloved one. “Yes.”

Uryuu smiled, feeling warmth invade his chest. He did that a lot these days. Mira had told him she wanted to see him smile again, making him scoff but in the end, she got her wish. With Sado in his life, he smiled everyday.

He tugged at Sado’s neck, forcing him to lower his head for a slow and gentle kiss. “I love you, too.”

It still hurt, nearly unbearably so. There were times when he thought he would crumble under the weight of the feelings. It was then that Sado added his strength to keep them both standing. His physical strength, while massive, couldn’t compare to that of his heart. He’d saved Uryuu in a time when his world was crashing down around him and for that, he loved him with every fiber in his being. Things wouldn’t be easy, and there was still much they would struggle against but they would do it together–bearing each other’s burden as best they could.

The end.


End file.
